I was approximately 18 years old when I was told that I wouldn’t be able to conceive. I had severe endometriosis throughout my teens, which can cause infertility. I was heartbroken, thinking I may never have kids of my own. Don’t get me wrong, I was in no way ready to be pregnant. I was still living at home with my parents and sister. Nonetheless, the news still stung. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mom. I loved babysitting and helping with the babies in the church nursery. Now, I might not be able to have my biological children.

However, life goes on! Girl meets boy. Boy and girl stupidly have unprotected sex (you know because she was told she couldn’t have a baby). We all see where this is going, right? PREGNANT!!!! I was 20, still living with my parents, and working at a grocery store. I was, in no way, ready to have a baby. After I got over the initial shock (and my doctor’s original diagnosis was completely wrong) I had to tell my now ex-boyfriend. I was not looking forward to that conversation.

Let’s just say it was bad. His response was for me to have an abortion. That wasn’t even something I had or was going to ever consider. I couldn’t even understand how he could say those words. He was so calm and cold about it. Needless to say he didn’t like my response. The idea of an abortion made me sick.

It’s not the child’s fault for conception. Why should they pay the price for an unplanned pregnancy? There are so many couples in the US that can’t conceive. I wasn’t ready to be a parent. My ex wasn’t ready, clearly. There were people waiting to be able to adopt a child. If placing my child for adoption meant that she would have the chance at a life that I couldn’t give her, then why shouldn’t I help a couple that would love her as much as I loved her?

My first born is now 23 years old. She is happy, healthy, well-educated, beautiful, and loved dearly. She doesn’t have just her adoptive family to lean on, but she has my family as well. My family includes my husband and her four half siblings. I think about what could’ve been, if I chose to have an abortion, and it breaks my heart that anyone would even consider that as an option. While it was emotionally difficult to place her for adoption, I do not regret my decision.

I placed her for adoption in 1994. In 2002, I was pregnant with my husband’s third child. I had a devastating miscarriage. My pregnancy only went to 14 weeks. Unfortunately, my baby’s heart stopped beating at 9 weeks. I miscarried my fully intact, formed baby. The doctor referred to this as a “spontaneous abortion.” I could see his arms, legs, all 10 fingers and 10 toes, and his beautiful face. The nurse did something next that has shaken me to my core to this day. She threw him in the biohazard garbage can. The image of my baby being tossed in the garbage is an image that I cannot and will not ever get out of my head. He was planned and loved.

That horrible experience solidified my previous thoughts on abortion and that it would NEVER be anything I would consider. This is why I chose adoption over abortion.

Written by Jill Wong

If you are unexpectedly pregnant and considering adoption, visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

The post Why I Choose Adoption Over Abortion appeared first on Aborting | Abortion pill, cost, definition, procedure, baby.

1. Take some time to adjust to the news.

This just simply means that you shouldn’t make any hasty decisions. You don’t want to do something that you will regret later. Thinking things through will make a world of difference in the long run.

2. Talk to someone that you can trust, will listen, and not judge you.

Most of us have that one person that you can tell all your deepest and darkest secrets. That’s who you should confide in. The last thing you need right now is someone who will look down on you and pass judgement. The person you confide in should be someone that you will be able to vent to, cry with, and just to talk to.

3. Weigh all your options.

For me personally, I only had two options. It was either raise my child myself or place her for adoption. I chose the latter of the two. Whatever you decide, make sure you’ve done your research. This goes back to making a hasty decision. You want to be well informed on all aspects of what you ultimately decide to do.

4. Don’t let someone persuade you into what they want you to do.

My child’s biological father wanted me to have an abortion. Even after I told him that I wasn’t ever going to do that, he still tried to persuade me towards that direction. Mainly because it was easier for him. Never do what is easier or best for someone else, unless that person is your child.

5. If you choose adoption, “interview” multiple adoption agencies.

Don’t go with the very first adoption agency, unless you’ve had experience with the agency. You want to choose one that not only thinks about the baby’s best interest, but yours as well. After all, you are the one carrying the child. You aren’t just a business transaction. Don’t let them treat you like one. Once you have “interviewed” them, make a pro and con list for each one. You will be able to compare them more accurately instead of trying to do it from memory. Your mind will already be filled with so much concern about this choice, writing it out will help.

6. If you choose to raise your child, figure out how you’re going to provide for him/her.

Raising a child is a huge expense. I don’t think you are truly ever aware of how expensive it is until you are already doing it, and then there are still surprise costs. List out your expenses prior to being pregnant. Now add in diapers, formula, crib, stroller, car seat, daycare, doctor visits, medicines, clothes, shoes, toys, sports activities, etc. Will you be able to afford raising a child? Of course, the answer to that will depend greatly on what (if any) help you have, whether it’s from the biological father, family, or government assistance. Personally, I knew I was not financially stable enough to raise a child. My mom raised me on welfare for a while, and I knew I didn’t want that for my child. I wanted her to have every opportunity to do and have the things that I couldn’t provide her. In no way am I saying that’s bad, it just wasn’t what I wanted.

The first four months of my unplanned pregnancy, I had no doubt that I was going to raise her myself. During those four months though, I also knew how hard it was going to be on my child if I did keep her. Following the advice above, helped me tremendously! I have never had and regrets about my decision to place her for adoption. I also think that if you asked her today, she would agree it was the right choice.

If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, don’t be afraid to reach out for more information. You can click here for a free consultation about your options.

Written by Jill Wong

If you are pregnant and considering adoption, visit Adoption.com for more information and to view adoption profiles of hopeful adoptive parents.

The post Advice You’ll Receive When Experiencing An Unplanned Pregnancy appeared first on Aborting | Abortion pill, cost, definition, procedure, baby.