I cannot for even a second put myself in your shoes. You just found out you are pregnant, and it was not planned, and now you are questioning what to do. Do you keep the baby, end the pregnancy, or do you give this child a forever home and make an adoption plan? This decision is ultimately yours, but I am going to share with you why I personally feel so passionate about choosing adoption.
I dreamed of being a parent for as long as I can remember, but when my husband and I decided to try for a family, we faced numerous infertility battles and opted to adopt. Not only because we were unable to have biological children, but also because we have a heart for adoption. We have twelve adopted members of our extended family; it is simply part of who we are. If you choose to place this baby with a loving family, you will be giving him or her a dream only hoped for. To me, our son’s birth mom answered one of my biggest prayers in life and made me a mom. I hold her in the highest regard and have the most respect for her and her decision. I know it wasn’t an easy decision for her. We have even talked that she thought about abortion at first. Oh how thankful I am that she chose adoption. I cannot imagine my life without our son. To think she could have easily made a different decision, and I wouldn’t be a mom, just blows my mind. I thank God every day she made the decision she did.
You also will be giving this child a chance at life. No matter what your stance on abortion is, it ends a child’s life. Knowing you placed your child with a family, you won’t have to question what happened to her life. You will know she lived. I can only write this article from the perspective of an adoptive parent because I have never been in your shoes. But I am hoping that if you gave your child the gift of life and chose to place him with a loving family, you wouldn’t spend the rest of your life questioning if you did the “right” thing or not. I am not passing judgment, and I am not putting myself in your shoes. I am simply making an observation of how I think I would feel. You may question what his life is like if you don’t have an open relationship with him, but I hope you don’t question whether it was the right decision for the rest of your life. You may at some point question if you should have raised the baby yourself, but I am hoping you don’t question whether you should have given him or her life or not.
For us, we have an open adoption with our son’s birth mom and her family. It has become one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced or seen in my life. I am not saying every situation is going to lead to an open adoption, but I suggest being open to the idea of it. That way you can know how much your decision to place the baby with a loving family has affected the child and his or her adoptive family. It also is an opportunity to continue an open dialog for the child when she is old enough to start “questioning” her adoption. The way we look at it is we not only adopted our son, but we also adopted his whole birth family to be part of our family. We embrace it; we cherish it; and we love it!
If you are unexpectedly pregnant and considering adoption, visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents.